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When I was young, I lived on the USMC base Quantico. I don’t remember it except for a vague memory of sitting in the trunk of the old, blue Volvo on a windy, cold day and, frankly, that could have been any day from when I was there to sometime in Michigan many years later. I remember a dress from that time but not as an outfit of mine but one I dressed dollies or teddy bears in. I was too small to remember taking this or any other photo.
For the last 10 years I have built a life in Northwest Washington and on Tuesday, I change all of that and go to begin a new chapter just outside of Baltimore, Maryland. Talk about a change.
I’m nervous…but more for the 50-ish hours that I will be in a car with my sister than for the trip itself. This will be the longest we have been together since high school and I am praying that a)the drive is safe thru mountain passes and snowy, windy plains and b) we both survive each others company.
I am sad to be leaving my home…both my house itself but also the people that I have built a life with, the towns that I have become familiar with over these last 10 years.
COVID has helped and will continue to dull the ache of loss, however. In the last year, I have only been home 68 nights, slightly more than 1 per week, because of work travel. I have learned a lot because of that opportunity but I was gone and basically missed 10 months of life with my family. In a time of so many people being frustrated with too much togetherness, I missed out on all of it. I lost an entire year because of work focus and work travel.
I missed the last year of Sisu’s life and miss her terribly.
I missed being a support for M during a rough transition though, in part, that has helped build more strength for the both of us. This past year has brought so much change and this next will be a new challenge that we are better equip to handle with strength and grace.
I missed seeing my baby grow up to be a big boy. Clutch (Bubba) is 60# of love who sleeps every night between my legs with his chin on my thigh and who happily climbs onto me in a full body press every morning to snuggle his nose under my chin, wagging his tail and waiting for my “okay” to signal its time to get up for the day.
This is the same baby who was barely a handful of puppy, who I was so angry with M for bringing home one day completely out of the blue, who is such a snuggle bug and a mommas boy and who, because of his mixed breed, I cannot take with me to an apartment.
Mochi will make the, literally, cross-country journey with me and I am so happy to be taking her. Being on the road this last year was difficult without my family and I think that a large part of my personal challenges with this year has been because of my lack of normalcy. No one to greet me when I got home, no routine to follow; different hotel rooms, different buildings to support in different ways…always different, always the outsider, nothing…stable. But that is about to change.
Its going to take time to build a new ‘normal’ but I am excited to start. I love the company that I work for and I wish like hell there had been a place for me here so there wouldn’t have to be so very much change all at once.
But there isn’t and there does.
And so I go, once more into the breach, dear friends, once more. With my shield or on it and always and all ways, SisuGirl.
Decisional – (adj) – Having the power or authority to make decisions.
What have you decided to do today?
Myself?
I read a lot and then decided to start blogging again. I started back on January 17th, 2007 as the KnittingFisher. Pre-Sisu days when living in Sitka in a dorm room, was in love with the wrong man and when I thought that 6 skeins of yarn were a lot and spinning was something that you only see in re-creations of historic villages.
It is interesting to re-read your old writings. My friend Mel said it well and I commented on that back in June 2011 and while I haven’t been reading every 10 posts like I used to, it was eye opening to revisit the Me that I was in 2007.
The Me that I am now knows her well and I think that she would be, if not expressly happy with her, would at least understand what happened and be happy with with choices that were made.
Where am I now?
I have 4 dogs (Sisu – my much blogged about KBD, now 12 years old; Mochi – 2 year old Shiba Inu who is her OWN dog/cat, thankingyouverymuch; Han – 2 year rescue schnauzer/blue heeler mix who is totally sweet and ball crazy and Clutch, a 5month old “surprise addition” lab/pit mix) and 3 cats and a husband, M, who all love me and happily greet me when I come home. I live in WA in a house with its mortgage, a new new car, a job that I am learning to be excellent at and phenomenal volume of stress from trying to be excellent at it. I managed to be part of the 5% who lost weight and kept weight off for 5 years only to gain it back over the last nearly 5 plus a bit more.
Where do I want to be?
I want to get back to my open heart and my Pollyanna-ish ways. I miss finding the good in all people and focusing on that instead of the bitterness that I can taste far more often than I would like.
I want to get back to my routine of exercise and Mochi makes an amazing running partner (not to mention I feel better as a dog Mum when I get some 1:1 time with her) and get rid of the stress. Weight too but the stress most of all and I run to be free and leave that behind so…
I want to use the fiber and yarn that I have and, while I shan’t be getting back to 6 skeins of ‘stash’, like, ever, I want to use what I love and be happy with what I have and not feel the weight of my stash if I want to purchase for a project.
I want to feel my connection to the world again. Maybe its all in my head, this connection, but I feel more grounded to the world as a whole when writing out thoughts and dreams and ideas and plans and delusions.
So, I have to figure out what I am going to give up in my life to have more of what I want.
There is no Pleasure without payment.
I’m just back to a place where I know better the pleasure, am willing to admit it to myself and know exactly what I am willing to pay to get it.
I am SisuGirl
Someone recently said to me, “If you think that time flies now, just wait until you have children!”. Well as there are no children, save for those borrowed from my friends and family in my future plans, I’ll just have to settle for time passing at my own appalling rate.
I have been…busy…since I last blogged in so many, many ways.
My joy of fibre continues. My spinning had been amazing and I’m working on this Into the Whirled
, in Mandarin (an old club offering on BFL) and this Enchanted Knoll 
, in Johnny Jump-Up on Superwash Merino. More on the spinning soon because , OH BOY, do I have something to show you!!
I have been knitting, but not so much in the last week due to an unfortunate injury:
Pepper was rather put out that we left her at home when we went on our recent camping trip to Salt Creek Recreation Area 
and didn’t let her seen the pod of Orcas 
or chase chipmunks and get tangled up like Sisu did 
so she took out her vengeance on my leg, claws and teeth, after purring and rubbing into me 5 seconds before. I swatted at her, missed, hit the wall and heating vent and damaged my fingers badly enough for x-rays, good painkillers and at least 2 weeks in splints to protect me. Yes, they still hurt 1 week in but I finally have some mobility back though I cannot make a fist or touch those fingers to my palm without pain and actually, they won’t bend that far at all, pain or no. I am not impressed with myself.
Mike and I 
have been exploring our area more than just camping too. We went up to Hurricane Ridge and admired the view 
and I loved the wildflowers too 
Lupines always remind me of my Mum and that view is to be admired! 
The biggest part of what I’ve been doing? Running.
Finishing the Rhody Run with my friends was the start of my real training for the Seattle 10k and my mileage has only grown from there. So much so that I have these to proudly display: 
Bruised toenails #1 and #2. They are my external display of my long runs and I couldn’t be happier or more proud of myself. 11 weeks ago I was dreading the idea of 8 miles whereas now, my last long run was 13 miles in 2.5hours.
Oh yeah. And I’ve been cooking and kitchen experimenting daily, bought a sewing machine and have made pj bottoms, skirts and an amazing infinity dress that I LOVE, have a successful herb garden in my strawberry pot, been reading and listening with voracity and spent far less time with my camera than I intend to do in the future. And intend to keep this blog going as I know I have missed sharing and need to write again.
But its ok because I put him there. This lovely rubber duckie is actually a tea duck, no, not a special breed but a tea ball…See:
He was part of my Easter box that my mum and sister sent to me and I just love him. Very cute and makes me smile every time I use him.
In other news, that tea duckie is in a travel mug because I have to go to a A&P2 lab in a few minutes but I thought I’d leave you with a few photos of what we’ve been up to:
Skimming stone and thinking better of fetching them…
Finding inspiration everywhere, including bathroom stalls…
Posing for family pictures…
Trying not to get pounced on but loving to play together…
Working on knitting super secret projects being held for ransom…
And enjoying life in general, especially these past few beautiful days! Running in the sun is fun and I’ve got 8 days until my first race of the season. I’ve got quite the container garden going now, complete with tomatoes and basil. If only mozzarella grew in pots we’d be totally set! School is going great and we’re over half done, 2/3rds actually!
Lots going on and lots more to do today. Enjoy it!
To start with…expect a longer load time because this is going to be very photo heavy! 32 to be exact but it is worth the wait 🙂
Second, this is Sisu’s post…and her perspective is a little different than mine but not by much! I had to take the photos since she is still working on that oppositional thumbs deficiency.
Oh the places we have gone…
Mum and Dad knew I would be missing the beach and my long frolics on the sand but lucky for me, there is a HUGE swath of Pacific Ocean not far away AND I even get to ride in the car!!
Did you know sand could be fine and so light? I didn’t and you should see me tearing off after those pesky seagulls…just like back in Nelson Lagoon 🙂
I had to pose with my people…
but its too bad that Mum didn’t have her camera to hand just after this. Dad told me “OK” and usually that means that I can run again…so I did…directly towards a large moose-like thing with a person on its back. Mum and Dad yelled at me to come back so I didn’t get a good sniff but maybe it will be there next time.
Mum keeps buying things that I have absolutely no interest in at all. Nearly every day she and dad are stopping at this not fun place where I have to stay in the car and then they come back and Mum is talking so much about how cheap and fresh and amazing the fruits and veggies are. Silly Mummy.
But the icky thing shop is right next to the yummy smelling meat place and both Mum and Dad are sure to pick up a small snack for me each time too when we are out and about and we get out a lot!
They are also taking me everywhere with them…
Well…nearly everywhere. Last week Mum and Dad left me with Grandma while they went to see Grandpa. Before they left I showed them that I could jump onto a brick post 3.5′ high and then jump out of the front garden. Can you blame me? I didn’t want to get left behind! Grandma bribed me with treats to go back inside and actually, it was fun to be with her and Bailey, my aunt-dog, for the week. Grandma took us everywhere with her in the car and I got more treats than Mummy gives me. I had so much fun and even was letting Grandma sleep with my Tigger too.
What did Mum and Dad do? Well, they smelled like cats when they got home so that was the reason that I wasn’t allowed to go with them. Good thing they are MINE and not up for adoption by any felines! Mummy said they went to “Scablands” which doesn’t sound very pretty but she was really excited about it.
Mummy was in ecstacy over the colours that she saw and she was writing a whole bunch in her idea book when she got home. She said it was awazing to know that this was hiding just off the beaten I-90 and it is how she imagines the Grand Canyon and the deserts of the southwest to look but on a smaller scale. And further north.
There was one day that Mum, Dad and Grandpa went touristing in a place called Levenworth.
No wonder it felt like they were gone for so long…Kansas is a LONG drive! Good thing they both came back.
There were some funny hats to try on.
Fun for everyone!
Even Grandpa got into it! 
Meanwhile…I was at home…patiently waiting…
Watching the wildlife…
Waiting for our next car trip because I have finally figured out my perfect chin placement.
My people don’t need arm-rests as much as I need a chin-rest.
I got to go touristing with my family this week and Mum said they had good weather.
‘Good weather’?
Seriously?
Well, considering where we went, it was good weather for the supposed residents!
While I wanted to meet some wolf-y cousins, my people were more in it for the scenery than the tours so this photo is the only touristing they did.
Honest.
Though there was a waterfall…
And we did stop to see some big trees along the way.
Well…I really got to know the trees while Mum and Dad poked about in the nearby bushes.
Blech! More things I don’t like to eat!
In non-touristing news…
Mummy got her toes painted a shockingly bright “Neon Watermelon”
And it matches the pink in the yarn she is using to make Daddy socks
We make a good team, the three of us on our car trips.
Mum knits and navigates…
Dad drives…
And I help them both!
Adventures of a Sisu Girl 
