When did you realise that you were an adult?  If you aren’t yet, when do you think you will become one?

Who me?

Dear reader, I was born an adult.

Not that I haven’t always been taken with flights of fancy…

There was a very long time that I truly believed in the fairies that lived in the bush in front of our house.  My sister tried to play with them with me on numerous occasions but since she couldn’t see them like I could, she didn’t enjoy herself as much as I.

We shan’t talk of the hours that I spent playing with Barbies, for longer than I would care to admit publicly, because I loved creating a fantasy world for them.

How about how I pretend that I’m someone else and talk to myself in these elaborate scenes when I’m home alone?

Just me?

I’m OK with that.

I don’t actually think of myself as “adult” because my obligations and responsibilities are well in hand and taken care of.  I never live beyond my means so when it comes time to pay the piper at the beginning of each month, I’m more than OK with both the debt amount and the paying of it.  I’m also more than comfortable in my “extras” of everything from clothes to wool and while some things require a little planning prior to purchase, I’m generally happier to have been waiting because that gives me something to look forward to.   If I don’t like something, I change either it or myself.  Period.

There are only 2 things that I am “required” and “obligated” to do every day.

#1) Take care of Sisu.  Considering how well she takes care of me, this is more of payback and really, apart from giving her food and letting her out to pee, I think the walkies are as much for me as for her.

#2) Earn a paycheck.  Right now I am a provider.  Nope, I don’t ‘work’, I ‘provide’ medical care.  24/7, 365 and while there are days when the pace of life is slow and calm, trust me, there are plenty of others that make up the difference in stress levels.  No, its not what I pay my student loans for but I’m happy doing what I do and that is the most important part of all.

For some reason, this behaviour of mine to be relaxed and feeling stable despite an unclear pathway is not “adult” to me.  I always think of Adults as people who were stressed and generally plagued by multiple worries…

…children, mortgage, lease, boss, co-workers,  car payments, medical bills, relationship stress, keeping up appearances…

and none of those really apply to me.  Sure, I have concerns over a few of the above but nothing that I would call ‘stressed’ or ‘plagued’…

I am willing to drop everything for a day at the beach…but thats because I know I have the PTO coming.  I’ve been known to splurge on dinner and serve Prime Rib to friends just to celebrate a Friday.  Based on my current spinning habits, I  feel that I may be approaching SABLE* for fiber yet I bought 12 more ounces just on Friday.  I’m sad that my M will be leaving soon and am worried about the impact that his doing so will have on us as a couple but I love him and tell him so and know that him finding himself will be better for any “us” than wanting him to stay so I won’t be alone again.

Will I ever become an Adult?

I really don’t know.

If an Adult follows my thought of a stressed-out person of multiple levels of obligation then I truly hope not.


Am I Adult?

I’d like to think so.

But let me get back to you on that.


I need to ask the fairies first.