I was emailing with a blog friend today and I came to a realisation…
In less than a month, I’ll be moving, I’ll have a new home AND I’ll have just finished New Employee Orientation for my new job.
Now…Now, I’m scared.
It became real when I typed about my “in less than a month” to my friend and right now I am swimming in a sea of near panic.
I have to pack.
I have to clean.
I have to order.
I have to plan.
I have to think.
I thought that I had all of this in hand; really I did.
And now I’m realising that while I might have had it in hand, it was more of a death grip than a gentle holding and now my fingers are numb and bits of my sanity are squishing thru between my fingers. Its not pretty or comfortable.
Now I know what I am doing and I can make the choice:
Do I want to continue as I am? Half blind with the shock of the “Now-ness” of what is coming?
Or am I going to open my eyes, open my hand and let my reasonable, organised self regain control and actually DO the work that I have been planning to do on schedule for the past 2 months?
Shock having passed, I’m firmly in the latter camp and I’m pretty sure that I knew that this is what my reaction would be…that’s why I am so well planned and scheduled out. Gosh but its nice to know me so well 🙂