About 2 months ago, when I was sorting and organizing my yarn and fiber I came across a box.  Not any box, a box of ideas, a box of plans, a box of good intentions…Intentions roving, to be exact!

This story goes back a few years:

Back just over 2 years ago, the brilliant Miss Violet, of the now off-air podcast ‘Lime and Violet’, had the idea of creating the Intentions yarn line.  Sheri, of the Loopy Ewe, was the only other distributor of the Intentions yarn and then roving line.  You can read Sheri and Violets description of how Intentions yarns/roving were created HERE.  In fact you should read it…I’ll wait 🙂  The idea of working with fiber with a point behind it was gripping to me, though I know some people will think this odd (you non-crafty readers), it is very important to my story.

As with nearly all things LnV, the yarn sold like hotcakes and was hard to lay hands on.  When the roving came out it was the same way.  Trust me, I tried and tried, both on the LnV shop site AND on the Loopy Ewe…no dice.  Until…

Back one year ago, I finally was able to get my hands on the roving.  And I was sure that I wanted to hold on to it because as a still-new spinner, there was no way I wanted to make any mistakes with this.  My plan was to spin it all up and knit it into a blanket.  As my next project.  And then sanity kicked in and I remembered that I wasn’t quite “good enough” to dive into the project yet and besides, there was a whole lot of other things to use first!  So the box has sat waiting for my skill level to catch up with my dreams…a usual state of being around Chez SisuGirl.

So as all these years have gone by, I’ve been thinking.  A dangerous pastime, I know, but there has been something else happening too.

Time has passed.

Stay with me here, I know that last is a bit of a non-sequiter, but its true.  As time has passed and I was thinking about getting my hands on and then deciding what to do with the Intentions roving, time has passed.  My life has changed so much since Ms Violet had the idea I immediately gravitated towards; I have changed.

I’ve gotten single, skinny and older.  While the first was rather a surprise, the second was intentional and the latter is inevitable.

So I’ve been thinking about the inevitable.

I’m turning 29 this year, which leads me into my “Birthday Rant”.  Why do we say that someone is X years old when its not really true?  Yes, I am having my 29th birthday but I’m not TURNING 29, I’m actually starting my 30th year of life.  We are actually celebrating not that someone is starting a year but that they have SURVIVED another year of life.  A rather morbid way of thinking of things but there you are.

30 years…roughly a 3rd of my life had gone by and this in and of itself bears thinking about.

What have I done with myself over that time and what am I thinking for my future?

How have I lived and do I want to change some part of how I approach life?

Where have I been and where do I want to spend the next 30 years reminiscing about?

Who have I loved, lost or never let in at all and who should be on either of those lists?

When have I been at my best and worst?

Why…anything?

While the answer to the great questions of life, the universe and everything else is 41, I have 11 years to go before that becomes relevant…so beginning on my birthday, August 29th, my 30th year is going to be spent analyzing my intentions, past, present and future.

As I spin the Intentions roving, I will be thinking about each ‘intention’ and what it has meant, does mean and what of that characteristic I intend for myself going into these next 30 years.  With my focus on the feeling of the fibre, the spinning and striving to keep my mind on the Intention, it is my hope that revolutions (forgive the ‘wheel’ joke) will lead to revelations.

At first I had delusions of grandeur that not only would I spin up all 15 roving bumps but I would also knit them into a finished item by the end of the year.

Yeah, No.

While it may be my “Intentional Year”, I also reminded myself that I have a sock fetish, baby clothes to knit for reproducing friends, a new partner who needs knitwear of his own and have recently taken advantage of being a highly valued KnitPicks customer and bought a few * coughthreecough * sweaters worth of yarn for myself.  I have ideas for my knitting hands; sadly, so many that my fingers can’t move as fast over the needles as my mind can whirl…but I’m working on it and to work on it means that I can’t only do one thing because than nothing would ever get done.   For my Intentional Year, I had to give myself an outlet for those hours that I can’t be sitting in front of my wheel and as I have been a knitter much longer than a spinner, my outlet makes sense.

Balance

Clarity

Connection

Courage

Faith

Fertility

Healing

Hope

Inspiration

Joy

Love

Patience

Peace

Perseverance

Strength

Even as I look at this list and the shelf of colour, I can see challenge, smiles, tears, stress, praise, curses and ultimately, Victory.  While I haven’t been able to meet a goal like spinning during the Tour de Fleece or during the Ravelympics, they haven’t had a real purpose for me.  Sure, the ‘competitors’ are challenged to push themselves to meet a personal goal…but neither of these competitions has really attracted me because my knitting and spinning goals rarely do well under pressure.  * Insert ominous music here *

But here’s the rub:  Those are seen as a personal competition.  This…this is about personal discovery and growth.  The only person involved is me.  There are no prizes to post photos to win, no message board discussion, no mileage, yardage or weight tallys, no need to cheer for others, make excuses for days with no progress…its just me, learning about me; past, present and future.

And that…that I’m getting rather good at.  Good thing too…otherwise the upcoming 365 days would be rather painful.

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