Sometimes, the best advice you have heard in a long time comes from a Sunday Comic. This time, the words I really needed to hear and the feelings I needed to have verbalised came from Luann…rather, from her Dad.
“Life is messy.
We plot and plan and think we’re prepared, but we’re actually just muddling along, knocked this way and that by unforeseen circumstances, constantly facing new realities.
All we can do is expect the unexpected, give it our best shot and hope that more things go right than wrong. Meanwhile, we stumble through the wilderness, striving to simply make it through another day.”
While his feelings come from lack of coffee, mine come from dealing with a suicide here in the village. I was the professional involved and my entire being has been…elsewhere. I’ve been feeling crazy, sane, empathetic, apathetic, angry, sad, strong, weak and just plain tired. Nothing besides patients seem like they matter and nothing but patients can hold my attention for longer than a few moments. I’m ready for things to go back to “normal”…the state that doesn’t exist in real life but what I have been calling where I was. In some ways, normalcy has returned with my walks, runs, the flow of the ocean and the catching of fish…and little by little, I’ll get there again.