There are such moments when you just know that you have to do something.
Sometimes its a very big feeling…
I must get on this train.
I have to talk to him.
I’ve got to phone her now.
Other times that feeling of ‘must’ is very small and slight.
I should do that.
I’ve been wondering about that.
What would happen if…
I had that very mild feeling of ‘must’ this morning when I let Sisu out.
Anyone who has spent time with me knows that my days are run on routine and that it takes a great deal to throw me off. How I managed to live, love and thrive within residence life with all its chaos, I’ll never know. Either way, my morning starts with giving Sisu belly rubs in bed (yes, she is the most spoilt thing and sleeps with me but only sometimes do I awaken with her head on the other pillow) and then letting her out to “Go Potty Su”. When living in town, I would take her out on a leash and wait with her as she would choose a spot for morning business but out here I can just put her out the front knowing full well that she wont go far. She isn’t a morning dog and most of the time is out and back to the door again before I can get the kettle filled for my cuppa. While Sisu isnt a morning dog, her mum is quite firmly a morning person; another trait I gained from my Mum and Nana. Being able to spend the quiet and calm of the morning to myself before starting the ‘work’ of the day recharges me in a way I dont really understand. I’d rather get up an hour early before heading into a busy day than sleep because I know it will do me more good.
So today, I rubbed the belly, agree with her that its time for us to “get up and go outside” and it was in saying ‘outside’ that I felt that the kettle would wait and that there was something that I needed to do right then and it would be outside. I put on my slippers and a sweatshirt and when reaching for the porch light, I had the ‘must Not’ feeling and stepped out into the black.
No one else was awake and there were no lights to be seen. It had to be nearly 45 degrees out and while it was foggy last night, it was crystal clear this morning. I stood in the warm, quiet dark just listening to Sisu rustle around in the beach grass searching for her perfect place and wondered why I ‘must’ be out there.
And then I looked up.
And let out a sigh of pleasure as I saw the one thing that always makes me happy.
That puts in perspective just everything in my life that I have been thinking about.
That makes me feel like the most insignificant but also the most treasured thing in the world.
The sky was awashed in stars so numerous that they were piled onto each other. Those pictures that you see with the nebulas and the very defined Milky Way? Yeah, that was it, minus the trees. I stood out there for about 20 minutes until Sisu came back and sat next to me. We would have looked like a posed photo had anyone seen us and at that time, I really understood the lyrics of Silent Night when we sing of “…All is calm, All is bright..”.
We went back inside and I started the kettle and Sisu settled herself onto the couch. I had the feeling that we both were in a special place of quiet, still and awe.
Who would want 2 french hens anyway?