It takes roughness abraiding against you to smooth out all your own rough edges.  An odd concept in theory but one that really makes sense.  All the people I know and have known have worked in some way in shaping me and softening those rough edges.  But deep down, I’d really like to find that one person who will stick around and want to be polished with me as well.

I’m a traditionalist despite my “Womans Lib” exterior.

I want to support my husband with my love and encouragement, body and soul.

I want to dye yarn as a “side” business to being a SAHM

I want a house and a yarn and neighbors that I have known for years, not months.

I want marriage and a family.

I want to be a stay at home mum and for the raising of my children to be valued as a respectable and honoured job.

I want stability, a regular schedule and recognition on the street as someone who belongs and is important.

But maybe the most permanent thing in my life is going to be the major path divergence that happen every few months.

Maybe my path is leading into service to others.

Maybe I’ll dye as a side business to whatever job I currently hold.

Maybe I’ll have pangs of sadness when my friends and family announce their pregnancies.

Maybe I’ll just share my bed with a 4-leg who takes her half out of the middle.

Maybe the only thing I’ll have forever is going to be my ‘SisuGirl’ tattoo and its deep meaning within me.

Maybe I’ll always be ‘Auntie’ or ‘Ms’ and not “Mummy”.

And maybe I’m finding peace with that idea.

Just maybe.

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