Mommy Bee commented on my last post “It’s cold here (if not as cold) but it’s lonely here, and that feels cold emotionally…I’d rather have cold fingers and a warm heart.” And sadly, I am feeling very cold emotionally.
I have few friends here in Anchorage, mainly because of, well, lots of reasons. #1 being that I completely expected that I was only going to spend 10 months here. Granted, that changed at the end of August when my relationship with J ended but in my defense, it took me into September to come to grips with the break-up and by that time, I was well immersed into my job here at the Uni. And that leads to reason #2. I am surrounded by young people, none of whom really want to be in contact with me because I am the “authority” figure and the all-around judicial bad guy because when they have a discipline issue, I am the one that deals with them. Not exactly a fun person in their eyes. Add that to the fact that 90% of the people I see are between 18 and 23 and my pool of people that I would like to spend time with gets even smaller due to lack of similar interests. Bah.
My friends are lovely though. Sam and Maria from work, Amanda from the dog park, Amber a knitting friend who I havent seen in ages!…and thats about it. I spend most days with Sam and Maria because that is who I see on a daily basis and honestly, most days I feel like we are three people with one mind we are so similar.
On the joyous side, I do have one steady friend and she is amazingly wonderful.Whats that saying? “Cold Nose, Warm Heart”? It couldn’t be more perfect or fitting. She is a wonderful friend and companion. So very patient and willing to sit by my side while I knit and spin. She is more than “just a dog”, she is MY dog, my Sisu. I dont think that I would trade her for an arena of friends and, in my head, it is wonderful that we can share the dog park with Sam and her corgi, Luci and Amanda and her dalmation, Cheif!
Still, it would be nice to have a human companion on a daily basis. It is easy for me to be jealous of my sister and brother-in-law who are pregnant, of my friends with partners both with and without children, just about everyone who has someone else! Loneliness. It is something that I deal with every day, with some being easier than others. I go for walkies and love my Sisu, enjoy my friends and try to work harder at warming my heart and warming my fingers too.
With all the fun I have been having with spinning, there has been less and less time for for knitting…until now! With some new yarn on the way (of course I needed to buy more yarn, why do you ask?) I will post some pictures tonight of the new projects in the works once I have uploaded them. Those and the pictures of already existing WIPs. And nearly finished spinning projects too…Lots to show off!!